Computer Error Message Haikus
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at http://www.salon.com/21st/rose/1998/02/24straight.html. --EricJablow Use the Wayback Machine to find the sources mentioned above: Challengehttp://web.archive.org/web/20080830051532/http://www.salonmagazine.com/21st/chal/1998/01/26chal.html Haikus Ihttp://web.archive.org/web/20110822021515/http://www.salon.com/21st/chal/1998/02/10chal2.html Haikus IIhttp://web.archive.org/web/20101211195815/http://www.salon.com/21st/chal/1998/02/10chal3.html Followuphttp://web.archive.org/web/20110818224042/http://www.salon.com/21st/rose/1998/02/24straight.html THE ZEN OF COMPUTERS, THE ART OF ERROR-- In Japan, they have replaced the impersonal and unhelpful Microsoft Error messages with windows error message haiku Haiku poetry messages. Haiku poetry has strict construction rules. Each poem has only three haiku error messages 21st challenge lines, 17 syllables: five syllables in the first line, seven in the second, five in the third. Haiku is used to beos haiku error messages communicate a timeless message, often achieving a wistful, yearning and powerful insight through extreme brevity -- the essence of Zen. All but one of these are submissions for the Salon contest, but whoever put them
Computer Haiku Blue Screen Of Death
here didn't put the author's names. BTW if someone knows the last haiku's author please fill it in. Your file was so big. It might be very useful. But now it is gone. -- David J. Liszewski The Website you seek Cannot be located, but Countless more exist. -- Joy Rothke Chaos reigns within. Reflect, repent, and reboot. Order shall return. -- Suzie Wagner ABORTED effort: Close all that you have. haiku computer program You ask way too much. -- Mike Hagler Windows NT crashed. I am the Blue Screen of Death. No one hears your screams. -- Peter Rothman Yesterday it worked. Today it is not working. Windows is like that. -- Margaret Segall First snow, then silence. This thousand dollar screen dies so beautifully. -- Simon Firth With searching comes loss And the presence of absence: "My Novel" not found. -- Howard Korder The Tao that is seen Is not the true Tao, until You bring fresh toner. -- Bill Torcaso Stay the patient course Of little worth is your ire The network is down -- David Ansel A crash reduces your expensive computer to a simple stone. -- James Lopez Three things are certain: Death, taxes and lost data. Guess which has occurred. -- David Dixon You step in the stream, But the water has moved on. This page is not here. -- Cass Whittington Out of memory. We wish to hold the whole sky, But we never will. -- Francis Heaney Having been erased, The document you're seeking Must now be retyped. -- Judy Birmingham Serious error. All shortcuts have disappeared. Screen. Mind. Both are blank. -- Ian Hughes I am the master. You have nowhere to run to. Microsoft can'
David Carlson - - - - - - - - - - - - I'm sorry, there's -- um -- insufficient -- what's-it-called? The term eludes me ... -- Owen Mathews - - - - - - - - - - - - Windows NT haiku computer bag crashed. I am the Blue Screen of Death. No one hears your screams. -- Peter Rothman - -
Internet Haiku
- - - - - - - - - - Seeing my great fault Through darkening blue windows I begin again -- Chris Walsh - - -
It Haiku Stephen King
- - - - - - - - - The code was willing, It considered your request, But the chips were weak. -- Barry L. Brumitt - - - - - - - - - - - - Printer not ready. Could be a fatal http://c2.com/cgi/wiki?ComputerErrorHaiku error. Have a pen handy? -- Pat Davis - - - - - - - - - - - - A file that big? It might be very useful. But now it is gone. -- David J. Liszewski - - - - - - - - - - - - Errors have occurred. We won't tell you where or why. Lazy programmers. -- Charlie Gibbs - - - - - - - - - - - - Server's poor response Not quick enough for browser. Timed out, plum blossom. http://www.infiltec.com/j-chaiku.htm -- Rik Jespersen - - - - - - - - - - - - Chaos reigns within. Reflect, repent, and reboot. Order shall return. -- Suzie Wagner - - - - - - - - - - - - Login incorrect. Only perfect spellers may enter this system. -- Jason Axley - - - - - - - - - - - - This site has been moved. We'd tell you where, but then we'd have to delete you. -- Charles Matthews - - - - - - - - - - - - wind catches lily scatt'ring petals to the wind: segmentation fault -- Nick Sweeney - - - - - - - - - - - - ABORTED effort: Close all that you have. You ask way too much. -- Mike Hagler - - - - - - - - - - - - First snow, then silence. This thousand dollar screen dies so beautifully. -- Simon Firth - - - - - - - - - - - - With searching comes loss and the presence of absence: "My Novel" not found. -- Howard Korder - - - - - - - - - - - - The Tao that is seen Is not the true Tao, until You bring fresh toner. -- Bill Torcaso - - - - - - - - - - - - The Web site you seek cannot be located but endless others exist -- Joy Rothke - - - - - - - - - - - - Stay the patient course Of little worth is y
Facts False Facts Debunked! Human Body Jokes Pickup Lines Cute Jokes Goes Into A Bar Bumper Stickers http://www.funny2.com/haiku.htm Light Bulb One Liners Insults Words Wrong Lyrics Oxymorons Palindromes Acronyms Bad Analogies Random Computer Haiku 1 Rather than beep Or a rude error message: http://baetzler.de/humor/haiku_error.var These words: "File Not Found". Errors have occurred. We won't tell you where or why - Lazy programmers! Chaos reigns within. Reflect, repent, and reboot Order error message will return. For a new PC, Center of my universe, I abandon all. The code was willing! It considered your request, But the chips were weak. Everything is gone. Your life's work has been destroyed. Squeeze trigger? (yes/no) A file that big? It might be very useful. But now it is error message haiku gone. No keyboard present Hit F1 to continue Zen engineering? Website has been moved We'd tell you where, but then we'd Have to delete you. The web site you seek Cannot be located but Countless more exist. Aborted effort: Close all that you have worked on. You ask way too much. Windows XP crashed. I am the blue screen of death. No one hears your screams. Yesterday it worked. Today it is not working. Windows is like that. ← THERE'S MORE! → Advertisement Funny2 Media Bad Newspaper Bad Menu Always Funny Cruise Cardinal Your Ad Here? Advertisement Random Funny2 Media Bad Newspaper Bad Menu Daily Comedy Cruise Cardinal News Of the Planet Bad Stat Veegle Funny2 Funny2 Friends Miss Cellania TYWKIWDBI Bits & Pieces Presurfer Pleated Jeans Tim Garcia Photo Right Angle Portraits World Wide Interweb Advertisements Copyright © 2016 Funny2, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Facebook Twitter Pinterest Advertisement
Poems (See Alexey Andreyev's Definition of Haiku if you want to know more about this style of poetry). After some investigation I found out that most of these Haiku were submissions to the Haiku Error Messages Contest run by Salon Magazine. When they published the Results of the Haiku Error Messages Challenge, the Haiku were quickly distributed all over the 'net, as recounted in the Salon article The case of the hijacked haiku. Other people invented more Haiku - for instance I have also included those found at John Hamer's page Some entries for an error message haiku contest. This page collects all haiku that I've found. I've included proper attribution where it was available, so I hope everybody's happy. I ate your Web page. Forgive me. It was juicy And tart on my tongue. - unknown A file that big? It might be very useful. But now it is gone. - David J. Liszewski The Web site you seek cannot be located, but endless others exist - Joy Rothke Chaos reigns within. Reflect, repent, and reboot. Order shall return. - Suzie Wagner ABORTED effort: Close all that you have. You ask far too much. - Mike Hagler First snow, then silence. This thousand dollar screen dies so beautifully. - Simon Firth With searching comes loss and the presence of absence: "My Novel" not found. - Howard Korder The Tao that is seen is not the true Tao, until you bring fresh toner. - Bill Torcaso Windows NT crashed. I am the Blue Screen of Death. No one hears your screams. - Peter Rothman Stay the patient course. Of little worth is your ire. The network is down. - David Ansel A crash reduces your expensive computer to a simple stone. - James Lopez Yesterday it worked. Today it is not working Windows is like that. - Margaret Segall Three things are certain: Death, taxes, and lost data. Guess which has occurred. - David Dixon You step in the stream, but the water has moved on. This page is not here. - Cass Whittington Out of memory. We wish to hold the whole sky, But we never will. - Francis Heaney Having been erased, the document you're seeking must now be retyped. - Judy Birmingham Rather than a beep or a rude error message, these words: "File not found." - Len Dvorkin Serious error. All shortcuts have disappeared. Screen. Mind. Both are blank. - Ian Hughes Errors have occurred. We won't tell you w