Error Messages In Haiku
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David Carlson - - - - - - - - - - - - I'm sorry, there's -- um -- insufficient -- what's-it-called? The term eludes me ... -- Owen Mathews - - - - - - - - - - - - Windows NT crashed. I am the Blue Screen of Death.
Windows Error Message Haiku
No one hears your screams. -- Peter Rothman - - - - - - - - - - - computer error haiku - Seeing my great fault Through darkening blue windows I begin again -- Chris Walsh - - - - - - - - - - - - The code was
Haiku Computer Program
willing, It considered your request, But the chips were weak. -- Barry L. Brumitt - - - - - - - - - - - - Printer not ready. Could be a fatal error. Have a pen handy? -- Pat Davis - - - - - - - http://c2.com/cgi/wiki?ComputerErrorHaiku - - - - - A file that big? It might be very useful. But now it is gone. -- David J. Liszewski - - - - - - - - - - - - Errors have occurred. We won't tell you where or why. Lazy programmers. -- Charlie Gibbs - - - - - - - - - - - - Server's poor response Not quick enough for browser. Timed out, plum blossom. -- Rik Jespersen - - - - - - - - - - - - Chaos reigns within. Reflect, repent, and reboot. Order http://www.infiltec.com/j-chaiku.htm shall return. -- Suzie Wagner - - - - - - - - - - - - Login incorrect. Only perfect spellers may enter this system. -- Jason Axley - - - - - - - - - - - - This site has been moved. We'd tell you where, but then we'd have to delete you. -- Charles Matthews - - - - - - - - - - - - wind catches lily scatt'ring petals to the wind: segmentation fault -- Nick Sweeney - - - - - - - - - - - - ABORTED effort: Close all that you have. You ask way too much. -- Mike Hagler - - - - - - - - - - - - First snow, then silence. This thousand dollar screen dies so beautifully. -- Simon Firth - - - - - - - - - - - - With searching comes loss and the presence of absence: "My Novel" not found. -- Howard Korder - - - - - - - - - - - - The Tao that is seen Is not the true Tao, until You bring fresh toner. -- Bill Torcaso - - - - - - - - - - - - The Web site you seek cannot be located but endless others exist -- Joy Rothke - - - - - - - - - - - - Stay the patient course Of little worth is your ire The network is down -- David Ansel - - - - - - - - - - - - A crash reduces your expensive computer to a simple stone. -- James Lopez - - - - - - - - - - - - Th
, including the names of the authors of all the individual haiku. Not long after they first came out, in February 1998, email versions started circulating. At first they were just unattributed lists of the haiku, but after a while people started embellishing them with the UL that Sony had https://www-users.cs.york.ac.uk/susan/joke/haiku.htm created these for their Vaio operating system. [My thanks to Chris Wesling for providing this attribution information] Sony http://baetzler.de/humor/haiku_error.var has announced its own computer operating system now available on its Vaio PC. Instead of producing the cryptic error messages characteristic of Microsoft's Windows and DOS systems, Sony's chairman Asai Tawara said, "We intend to capture the high ground by putting a human, Japanese face on what has been, until now, an operating system that reflects Western cultural hegemony. For example, we have replaced the impersonal and unhelpful Microsoft error messages error message with our own Japanese haiku poetry." The chairman went on to give examples of Sony's new error messages: A file that big? . . . It might be very useful . . . But now it is gone. You seek a Web site . . . It cannot be located . . . Countless more exist. Chaos reigns within . . . Stop, reflect, and reboot . . . Order shall return. Aborted effort . . . Close all that you have worked on . . . You ask way haiku error messages too much. Yesterday it worked . . . Today it is not working . . . Windows is like that. First snow, then silence . . . This thousand dollar screen dies . . . So beautifully. With searching comes loss . . . The presence of absence . . . "JuneSales.doc" not found. The Tao that is seen . . . Is not the true Tao . . . Until you bring fresh toner. Windows NT crashed . . . The Blue Screen of Death . . . No one hears your screams. Stay the patient course . . . Of little worth is your ire . . . The network is down. A crash reduces . . . Your expensive computer . . . To a simple stone. Three things are certain . . . Death, taxes, and lost data . . . Guess which has occurred. You step in the stream . . . But the water has moved on . . . Page not found. Out of memory . . . We wish to hold the whole sky, . . . But we never will. Having been erased, . . . The documents you are seeking . . . Must now be retyped. Serious error . . . All shortcuts have disappeared . . . Screen. Mind. Both are blank. The computer haiku messages are just as informative as Microsoft's and they make you pause just long enough that you're able to fight the impulse to put a fist through the screen. And I found some more in the same vein at http://www.chiark.greenend.org.uk/~eleanorb/funnies/computer.text Eve
Poems (See Alexey Andreyev's Definition of Haiku if you want to know more about this style of poetry). After some investigation I found out that most of these Haiku were submissions to the Haiku Error Messages Contest run by Salon Magazine. When they published the Results of the Haiku Error Messages Challenge, the Haiku were quickly distributed all over the 'net, as recounted in the Salon article The case of the hijacked haiku. Other people invented more Haiku - for instance I have also included those found at John Hamer's page Some entries for an error message haiku contest. This page collects all haiku that I've found. I've included proper attribution where it was available, so I hope everybody's happy. I ate your Web page. Forgive me. It was juicy And tart on my tongue. - unknown A file that big? It might be very useful. But now it is gone. - David J. Liszewski The Web site you seek cannot be located, but endless others exist - Joy Rothke Chaos reigns within. Reflect, repent, and reboot. Order shall return. - Suzie Wagner ABORTED effort: Close all that you have. You ask far too much. - Mike Hagler First snow, then silence. This thousand dollar screen dies so beautifully. - Simon Firth With searching comes loss and the presence of absence: "My Novel" not found. - Howard Korder The Tao that is seen is not the true Tao, until you bring fresh toner. - Bill Torcaso Windows NT crashed. I am the Blue Screen of Death. No one hears your screams. - Peter Rothman Stay the patient course. Of little worth is your ire. The network is down. - David Ansel A crash reduces your expensive computer to a simple stone. - James Lopez Yesterday it worked. Today it is not working Windows is like that. - Margaret Segall Three things are certain: Death, taxes, and lost data. Guess which has occurred. - David Dixon You step in the stream, but the water has moved on. This page is not here. - Cass Whittington Out of memory. We wish to hold the whole sky, But we never will. - Francis Heaney Having been erased, the document you're seeking must now be retyped. - Judy Birmingham Rather than a beep or a rude error message, these words: "File not found." - Len Dvorkin Serious error. All shortcuts have disappeared. Screen. Mind. Both are blank. - Ian Hughes Errors have occurred. We won't tell you where or why. Lazy programmers. - Charlie Gibbs Everything is gone; Your life's work has been destroyed. Squeeze trigger (yes/no)? - David Carlson Seeing my great fault Through darkening blue windows I begin again - Chris Walsh The code was willing, It considered your request, But the chips were weak. - Barry L. Brumitt Printer not r