Funny Program Error Messages
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linux · missing keyboard · windows · winscp · xbox 21 Comments Loading... Since the dawn of clever error messages home computing, human beings have had a love-hate relationship with computers
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and all related technologies. We've loved what they can do for us from entertainment and productivity standpoints, but funny error text messages the minute something goes wrong, we're ready to break out the Sledge-O-Matic and go all Gallagher on them. Still, sometimes a computer error can transcend aggravation and tickle
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our funny bones. Here at Intertech.com we've seen some pretty funny error messages in our times and in the cases of these 15 Funniest Real Computer Error Messages, it's a tad hard to stay angry. (NOTE: There are a lot of phonies out there, thanks to error message generators. We've tried to include only legitimate issues with verification error messages examples when possible. Our suggestion: just sit back and enjoy the fun, and if any of these should ever happen to you, be sure to let us know!) 1. Windows Phone Installation Disc Error Hat tip to TheNextWeb for bringing our attention to this recent computer error involving a standard error message asking the impossible. "Windows failed to start," the message begins. "To fix the problem: 1) Insert your Windows installation disc and restart your computer. 2) Choose your language settings, and then click ‘Next.' 3) Click ‘Repair your computer.'" Hmmm, installation disc on a phone. Where, pray tell, would that go? This is a legitimate issue that has affected at least two models of phone, including the Lumia 920. Twitter user Johnny Ruokokoski reassured Windows Phone Support not to worry, stating that a "regular customer will never see this message, I think it's hard-coded in the kernel," to which WPS responded, "Understood, if this is happening when you are flashing your phone, we are unable to provide support for it." So th
Messages of All Time They're rarely helpful. Actually, they usually add insult to injury. But what would computing be without 'em? Herewith, a tribute to a baker's dozen of the best (or is that worst?). By Harry McCracken | Thursday, September 18, 2008 at 5:28
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am "To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer." So
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goes an old quip attributed to Paul Ehrlich. He was right. One of the defining things about computers is that they-or, more specifically, the funny error messages to send people who program them-get so many things so very wrong. Hence the need for error messages, which have been around nearly as long as computers themselves.. In theory, error messages should be painful at worst and boring at best. They tend https://www.intertech.com/Blog/funny-computer-error-messages/ to be cryptic; they rarely offer an apology even when one is due; they like to provide useless information like hexadecimal numbers and to withhold facts that would be useful, like plain-English explanations of how to right want went wrong. In multiple ways, most of them represent technology at its most irritating. In fact, people have an emotional attachment to many of them-like Proust's Madeleine, an error message from a machine out of your past can transport you back in time. That's http://www.technologizer.com/2008/09/18/errormessage/ a big part of why people form clubs to celebrate them, have them tattooed on their person, chronicle them for Wikipedia, and name albums after them. An entire company, the wonderfully-named Errorwear, exists to emblazon the images of such classic errors as the Blue Screen of Death (in four variations!), Guru Meditation, Red Ring of Death, and Sad Mac on T-shirts. And then there's this article-my stab at rounding up the major error messages of the past thirty years or so. I ranked them on a variety of factors, including how many people they bedeviled over the years, their aesthetic appeal or lack thereof, and the likelihood that they were notifying you of a genuine computing disaster. Your rankings probably differ from mine, which is why this story ends with a poll on the last page. Ready? Let's work through the list, starting with number thirteen and working our way up to the greatest error message of 'em all. 13. Abort, Retry, Fail? (MS-DOS) In many ways, it remains an error message to judge other error messages by. It's terse. (Three words.) It's confusing. (What's the difference between Abort and Fail?) It could indicate either a minor glitch (you forgot to put a floppy disk in the drive) or catastrophe (your hard drive had died). And by forcing you to choose between three options, none of which is likely to help, it throws the problem back in your face. It's Abort, Retry, Fail?
old newsgroup archive, reformatted for your reading pleasure. Which one is your favorite? "Values of B will give rise to dom." FATAL system http://fsckin.com/2007/09/24/189-humorous-unix-errors/ error #nnnn CAUSE: We should never get here! OHHHH…. I give up Core dumped COMPILER UNABLE TO ABORT AN ATTEMPT WAS MADE TO WRITE BEYOND THE MAXIMUM ASSIGNED SPACE FOR A MASS STORAGE FILE. AN ATTEMPT WAS MADE TO EXPAND A MASS STORAGE FILE BEYOND THE MAXIMUM ASSIGNED SPACE. A READ FUNCTION FOR A MASS STORAGE FILE SPECIFIED AN ADDRESS (WORD 5 OF THE error message I/O PACKET) THAT IS BEYOND THE MAXIMUM ASSIGNED SPACE. A READ OR WRITE FUNCTION FOR A WORD-ADDRESSABLE MASS STORAG FILE SPECIFIED A MASS STORAGE ADDRESS (WORD 5 OF THE I/O PACKET) AND A TOTAL DATA COUNT. WHEN THE MASS STORAGE ADDRESS IS ADDED TO THE TOTAL DATA COUNT, THE RESULTING ENDING MASS STORAGE ADDRESS IS GREATER THAN 2*/35-1. A READ OR WRITE FUNCTION FOR funny error messages A SECTOR-FORMATTED MASS STORAGE FILE SPECIFIED A MASS STORAGE ADDRESS (WORD 5 OF THE I/O PACKET) THAT IS GREATER THAN 2*/30-1. ADI ONLY: REFERENCE ATTEMPTED BEYOND THE ASSIGNED FILE WHEN THE FILE IS CONFIGURED AS A FH-432 OR FH-1782 DRUM. ERROR: A really big FUCK UP has been detected !! Momentaraly writing while seeking.. Constantly writing while seeking.. Momentaraly writing while reading.. initstate: not enough state (%d bytes) with which to do jack; ignored. "Keyboard not present, press any key" "You lied to me when you told me this was a program" "PROGRAMMER GOOFED . . . YOU SHOULD NEVER SEE THIS MESSAGE" YOU CAN'T DO THAT! Man the Lifeboats! Women and children first! $ make :== $ sys$system:teco32 make $ make love Not war? That makes 100 errors; please try again. You can now delete more, or insert, or whatever. Sorry, I don't know how to help in this situation. Maybe you should try asking a human? Sorry, I already gave what help I could… An error might have occurred before I noticed any problems. If all else fails, read the instructions. This can't happen. I'm broken. Please sh